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[05 Sep 2008|06:08pm] |
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(Let me just start by saying that I just spent the better part of 40 minutes typing an entry that was promptly deleted by the stroke of the wrong key...let's try this again, shall we??)
Ok, I realize the last post was a bit dijointed and cryptic...so I will try to adress each topic with individual posts within the next few days. First, I will start out with the topic that is pretty exciting to me... Trying to get into a PA program. As many of you will recall, after getting my masters I went all the way back to square one to get pre-reqs for med school. After 1.5 yrs of going part time, I have about that much left...and I'm serioudly getting tired of school; so I've been talking to some of the surgeons up at the hospital, and one of the physiatrists enlightened me on what a PA actually is. Now, here is my thinking: if I stay on the MD track, I still have a year of physics + labs, organic chem + labs, and anatomy + physiology...and then 4 more yrs of med school, then internship... (A long haul). However, the PA programs that I've looked into require bio, chem, some psych, some sociology, stats, and clinical experience (please note that organic chem and physics is NOT on this list...and I wouldn't cry if I had to miss out on them). I am currently done w/ all bio and labs, chem labs, and calc. I already have a BS in psych with a minor in sociology, a MA in behavior, and have worked at a hospital (including watching surgeries) for over 1.5 years. So, if I've done my math correctly, to enter into a PA program, all I need is to finish chem II (which I am currently in) and take anatomy and physiology. Which means I couls start applying to programs in OCTOBER and be in by summer 09!! I know it's not an MD, but it would only take 2 extra yrs, save a not-so-small fortune in tuition, and be a hell of a lot less liability for me. Plus I'd still get to prescribe meds, make my own decisions, specialize in cardio-thoracic or orthopaedic surgery, and would be paid a decent amt of cash too. So, from where I'm sitting (trapped in a job I despise taking classes I'm not at all interested in--and will ultimately not be needed) this seems like a no brainer. Don't get me wrong, I'm still totally into dead ppl and medicine, but I want to start living a life enjoy, you know? Any thoughts?
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[04 Jul 2008|07:18am] |
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Ok. So the strangest thing happened yesterday as I was getting ready to go to a 7:15 dr appt. I was putting water in the fridge and watching Grissom be psycho, when I hear frantic pounding on the door. Now, as I live attached to a group home, this usually is indicative of trouble next door... However, I realize this is not coming from the laundry room, but instead my front door. This is odd, again, bc I live at the side/back of a grp home...visitors don't typically even realize my door exists. So I go and open the door (against better judgement, true) and a chinese food delivery guy is standing there??? He says, "you order?" I tell him no, he prolly wants the main house. He then looks at me and thrusts his cell phone into my hand saying, "you listen. Talking, what say?" I put the phone to my ear and listen to some company's recording--you know, press 1 for hours of operation, para espanol primero numero dos...- I try to explain to the man that it is a machine, a recording... He says, "where? You know?" I tell him that, unfortunately, I don't. At this pt. I look down and realize the phone's screen is filled w/ chinese symbols... He looks at me again, and I say I don't know, sorry and hand him his phone. He takes it, runs back to his car and leaves... So, a wee bit dazed by the meeting I head in and finish getting ready to go. Strange right? I felt like it was something you'd see on a sitcom! I guess thiings that you see on tv actually CAN happen...
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[02 Jul 2008|09:21pm] |
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Due to extreme fuckwittage, I still don't have internets at my apt. Thus, I took matters into my own hands...first I obtained a side-kick; it was cool, but hard to navigate w/ and was seriously lacking in a few areas (mainly ringtones and ease of accessing certain websites). Shy of the 14 day mark, I went back to the store (today) and switched it out/upgraded to the Blackberry Curve. Iam not a major techy, but this thing is hawt! But more importantly, it allows me to be online in my apt... As if on my laptop. This ultimately means I am back!!!
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| Can almost breathe... |
[20 May 2008|10:57am] |
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T-minus 3 hours and 2 minutes until start of chemistry final. Thus, t-minus 5 hours and 32 minutes until some of the stress abates...and then maybe I will stop actively willing vehicles in my direction. I HATE finals week!! They say it's good luck if it rains on your wedding day; what about if it rains on the day of the most evil final you've ever taken??? Oh, and I maintain that I often question what drugs I was on when I decided working full-time+ and going back to school for a science degree was a good idea. I am at the point where my brain literally hurts. Oh well, back to the books for now. Send happy thoughts my way between 2 and 4:30 eastern time please. Hope everyone else is well.
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[03 Mar 2008|12:31pm] |
I am addicted to a new song. ZZxzy Rd. by Stone Sour (you should check it out). I hate that I have no time for a life. I REALLY hate my bio lab because the amount of work required for TWO f*ing credits is absurd. I am so tired. There must be an end in site...right? That is all. Chem recitation starts soon.
P.S.--have come up with fabulous notion, that if stars align themselves just right, I may be able to fly to G-ville for triduum.
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[17 Feb 2008|01:36pm] |
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I miss you all terribly. I am alive. I am overloaded, as usual...and since I have no internet access at my apartment, I haven't even been able to keep up with your lives...and I'm sorry for that. I hope this finds you all happy and healthy. I think about you guys, and will try to get back to LJ asap. Take care.
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| Still around |
[22 Dec 2007|10:08am] |
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Hello, to everyone who I am sure thinks I fell off of the face of the planet. I am around. I am FINALLY done with the semester...which actually made the horrific boot-camp experience feel like pre-school. I have SO much to write about...SO MUCH...but not just yet. I will do a proper update once I am in FL (I leave tomorrow afternoon) and have internet connection), but I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season. Take care, and I'll talk to you all soon.
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[20 Aug 2007|08:46pm] |
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At 3:00 one car heading north on a freeway passes an exit ramp averaging 60 mph. Another northbound car passes the same exit ramp 10 minutes later averaging 65 mph. When will the second car pass the first? Do any of you know? I do.
I know this is simple, basic algebra...but it seriously hurts my brain (especially when paired with the insanity that has overcome this house and an absurd "injury" that prevented me from running today). I really just want to go and draw...
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[07 Aug 2007|09:50pm] |
Some fabulous quotes from this weekend's trip to see ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) organfailure:
"We're going to get icecream from homemade cows!"
"Have I ever told you I have a thing for ferryboats?"
"The real question is, does turning into a werewolf affect your testicles?"
--This was what sparked an amazing debate about Teddy Lupin's fate in Deathly Hallows (which we never learned aside from a comment his grandma made about changing hair). There was some talk of whether or not being bitten thus acts as a retro virus, or whether it is actually part of the carrier's genetic make-up when he is a wolf. Thus, if it is genetic, is it somatic cells or gametes...and therefore is it part of Teddy's genetic make-up? I think we ultimately decided that since Lupin is his dad, and probably has werewolf DNA, Teddy is most likely a carrier of the werewolf trait, but since his mom didn't have it (and we are assuming it wasn't a dominant allele), he is probably not a full-fledged werewolf.
(Yes, we all really like Harry Potter...and apparently, genetics...)
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[02 Aug 2007|08:44pm] |
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I am not dead! Just ridiculously busy. But an exciting,albeit brief, update is necessary. As of yesterday, I am INSURED!!! I am allowed to get sick, go to the dentists, schedule normal exams!! It is such a happy feeling!!
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| Deathly Hallows |
[26 Jul 2007|11:18pm] |
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Wow. I finished Harry Potter 7 tonight. I have SO much to say...but it will all wait until I am way less sleepy. Let's just say I loved it. I am ok with the ending. No clue how I feel about some of the twists, but overall...I think it may be my favorite of the 7...or at least tied with Goblet of Fire...
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| If you wouldn't mind... |
[21 Jul 2007|06:52pm] |
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Ok, I only made it to the end of HP4 before Deathly Hallows came out. I bought Deathly Hallows this afternoon, read a recap of Half-Blood Prince and am going to embark on the final installment of Potter now. If you want to talk about the new book, PLEASE put it behind a cut or warn me or something...bc the last 2 books were ruined for me, and I want this one to be a total surprise. It is much appreciated. Thanks!
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| neat meme |
[19 Jul 2007|07:20pm] |
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A pretty cool meme from Organfailure:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
She asked:
1. What did you want to be growing up? Why did it change?
2. If med school doesn't work out, for whatever reason, would you be happy doing behaviour stuff forever?
3. You suddenly develop screaming lactose intolerance. Is life still worth living?
4. Worst flavor of ice cream you've ever tried? What is your fantasy sundae?
5. What's your take on the catechism vs. Bible?
1. When I was very little, I wanted to be a veterinarian and circus poodle trainer on the side. But then, as I got older, the circus lost it's appeal, and the thought of putting animals to sleep was just too hard for me to process. So I decided I'd rather be an E.R. trauma surgeon...bc that way, even if the patient died, you'd have done everything in your power to stop it, instead of pushing the final life-stopping med. And I really never changed that wish that much through the years...the whole behaviorist puzzle will be answered in your other questions.
2. If med school doesn't happen, I will absolutely NOT be happy doing behavior stuff forever. I have always said (well, since 2nd yr grad school) I'd have to gouge out my own eyes if I have to do this for the rest of my life. If med school doesn't happen, I'll take my bio and psych degrees to the streets and try to become a CSI...bc forensics are amazing.
3. Life is still worth living. There is lactaid, and if that doesn't work, I will learn to love soy ice-cream and or sorbet. But life might just be a little less bright and shiny...
4. Worst ice-cream I've ever tried was wasabi-ginger (which in no way compares to the vileness of a fistfull of the real shit...but was horrid none-the-less). Thank God it was only a small spoonfull! Dream sundae? Hard call. Cinnamon, coffee, and white chocolate ice-cream with crushed pretzels, yellow cake, and chocolate chips all squished in...covered in so many sprinkles you can't see the ice-cream! MMmmmmmm....fantasy sundae...
5. Ah, a great religious debate. I think that both are really difficult to use as an ultimate guide to life. First, the bible was written by man. Many men, in fact, with contradicting stories, and too many conflicting ideals to take everything it says at face value. I think it holds a lot of symbolism and fabulous overall principles/guidelines to live your life more in the image of Christ. Taking it at face value would simply never work; it's been through so many translations and authors, that we can't be certain on so many things (except for the same exact recurring stories in many of the books)for it to be my be-all, end-all guide to living. The chatechism is in a similar vein. It was written by man. It is based off of the bible. It was written so long ago that I think the Vatican should reconvene and take the issues of today's society into account. (i.e. if my daughter intends on having sex, she better wear a freaking condom rather then get pregnant or aids). I think it is a good guide to go by, but again, not my be-all, end-all. However, I am a very liberal Catholic. I kind of pick the main principles of both, see where they match, and live according to those values. When it comes down to it, Bible trumps Chatechism, but what I "hear" from God and feel in my heart is his will, trumps book. Geez, does that make ANY sense??!!??!!
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| Another new addiction |
[28 Jun 2007|09:01pm] |
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Aside from all the crap that I have been dealing with, I have neglected to write about any of the other 54,896 things that have occurred since re-entering the working world. I think I am just going to do this in a somewhat elaborated bullet-point format.
** I have Satan's phone number... like, literally; my work cell phone's number is "xxx"-0666...seriously. Almost everyone I have to give my number to comments on it. I AM NOT SATAN!!! But this phone is giving me a complex, lol.
** I am seriously considering signing up for a half-marathon. I have slowly worked my way up to one long run a week (which, as of today, can be 11 miles and not kill me). If I can physically do it, why not get a tee-shirt out of it?
** I am making friends! Steve, the Sat. PT and I get along well and joke often. Plus, Virginia and a bunch of other Ridge staff seem to really like me. Virginia and I talk on a personal level (well, she opens up to me), and I hope to be able to hang out outside of work soon. And as previously mentioned, I have a real friend...Debbie. She is the nurse at Ridge house and we actually talk on a reciprocally personal level. There is a small possibility that I *might* rent out a room in her place for a little while. Nothing is definite, but it is a very viable option.
** I am also in training to be a shallow-water lifeguard. My company is paying for me to take the course, but I volunteered to do it bc the 3 other people from my one house copped out. The pay is good, and as our guys kind of stand in the 4 feet of water and splash, I think I can handle it. However, I did get a bad sunburn and some sun poisoning from the first day of training...and the book is so long and boring. But in the end, it will make my guys' happy and it is another resume booster.
** And finally, while Grey's is on hiatus, I have a new addiction... CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (Las Vegas, not Miami or NY). I can (and do) watch it for HOURS at a clip, and have begun reading about all the cool CSI tools and procedures. Forensics, I have decided, fascinates me almost as much as the human body. If I suck at med-school (which I have no intention of doing), I could totally go into forensics of some kind. I even got to test out my forensic investigative skills with an incident at work last week (but we'll leave that for it's own entry), and it was kind of fun piecing bits of the scenario together! Though, not as fun as it would be to fix a heart or repair a joint/limb. So many interesting things exist!!!
Ok, we'll leave it at that...as CSI is currently on, followed by Grey's. Can we say Heaven?!
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| HP...PARK!!! |
[31 May 2007|08:31pm] |
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Ok, I know I owe you all a real update...afterall, I did have surgery and some good pain meds that I need to write about ;0)~ However, this simply MUST be made known.
Today, Universal and Warner Brothers announced the opening of a HARRY POTTER THEME PARK in the Islands of Adventures section of Universal in 2010!! Being the HUGE Harry Potter dork that I am, this excites me to no end! It will include Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and the Forbidden Forest...among other things. This is something I WILL be following and eventually attending. Someone's excited....it's me. Seriously!
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| Death |
[08 May 2007|09:01pm] |
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A weird topic, I know. But in entering the medical world, it is something I have to learn to be ok with. Something I will have to encounter frequently...and unfortunately already have. Once on Friday morning, and again on Sunday. I wasn't in the room for either of them, but in close enough proximity to be affected momentarily. For the first, we were working with a patient across the hall from a room full of family. While we were chatting, some of the family members begin to wail horribly and sob. There was hugging and consoling. Some people left the room and stood at the door. Then, after a wee bit, they left the wing. A little bit later a nurse came to our room to shut the door...so they could remove the body. I wish I had known what had happened. I wanted to hug the poor, sobbing woman; but instead, I continued my work without missing a beat. The second death was quieter. A patient in the ICU, who had a CVA (aka stroke) on Friday after already being in the ICU. The last time I saw him he had an n-g tube, a foley, and a bunch of things I don't know the word from protruding from his newly shaved head. He slipped away within minutes, without anyone really noticing. Alone. Nobody was there to cry over him. A curtain was merely drawn and his square on the vitals screen went blank. I am sure that he has people somewhere that cried over him. I was still sad for him...but less so then for the woman up on the 3rd floor. He looked to be pretty vegetative anyway; and whose to say how bad the CVA was. But it is weird to go from contacting death as a word on the news, to part of daily life. I can only imagine how many more times I will be near/part of the end of a life, but I hope that I feel it every time. I don't want to become callous to it. I want to be able to accept it as part of the game, to honor the life of the patient, and to continue about my tasks. It's just been surreal to be so close to it. So present. And one day, I will probably have to utter those dreaded words, "I'm sorry; we used all of our capabilities but..." Until then, I am learning to see it, to hear it, and to embrace my own existence because of it.
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| Didn't drown |
[06 May 2007|09:47pm] |
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Well, I just checked my e-mail and found that I have been nudged by vikkilynn. Oops, I guess it has been 3 weeks...I am alive, I haven't stopped swimming or anything; just drowning in work. But, you've asked for it, so here goes:
It HAS been a while since I last wrote, but life has picked up in a major way, and has not given me much time to sit and tend to my lj updates, though I do read daily. See, I started not only one, but both jobs...and training has been overlapping, yielding 13 hour days a couple of times a week. Hopefully that will end soon, and I can be a behavior analyst during the week and a rehab aide at the hospital on the weekend.
I am so much happier at the new behavior job then I ever was down in FL. The difference is just astounding. I can't even put into words how different the two facilities are. But the clients here are great; they
are super endearing, and for the most part, they mean well...and are most certainly not out to kill me. In fact, I even LIKE spending time with some of them. And my boss is great. She reminds me a lot of my bosses back at CK; Friendly, caring, and she actually said she wants me to be happy here. I feel like this will be a good home for me for the next year or so. The hours are a little warped though, as I don't get home until after 9 on most nights. But I am hoping that schedules will start to even out soon and I will be moving more toward day shifts then not.
As for the hospital? I absolutely ADORE it! I have spent about 7 days there training for a few hours at a clip, and I am always sad to go home. I would much rather spend 8 hours a day there, and 3 hours at the
other job...so I know I made the right decision to go after my medical aspirations. I actually get to work hands on with patients that are just out of knee, hip, or back surgery. The 7 therapists I work with are hilarious and quite friendly. They are a great group of boisterous guys. Too bad they are all married, old, or involved; Oh, and though McGorgeous has no rings, he is definitley expecting a McBaby any day now...so no chance there either. C'est la vie'. Plus, I do actually get to wear scrubs!!! Yeay for not dressing myself! The job itself is quite easy, but it is an amazing learning experience; not to mention I have the opportunity to watch a real-life surgery! I am so stoked that I don't even mind losing my weekends.
Now...as my life goes, good things just aren't allowed to happen and be. I got 2 jobs as opposed to one. I got into Stony Brook. Something had to give. And boy is this a fun new obstacle...except for not really. I have some more info on the thing in my mouth... Sort of. Last Thurs. I went back to the Dr. for a follow up of the CT scan. The good news is, thatwhatever it is, is not attacking any bones or exhibiting any necrosis.
The bad news is that I have to have surgery on it. It looks, and we won't be sure until he goes in, like a screw from a past jaw surgery has come out of it's hole and in doing so, has let loose a piece of bone from a prior bone-graft surgery. Now, this has decided to occur directly over a very precarious spot...plates, crews, my bridge, and oral-nasal communication things could all be affected. So hopefully all he has to do is go in, cut my gums, and retrieve the mass. The doctor doesn't think it is a tumor or anything, but it is not completely out of the realm of possibilities. However, he has to take it out sooner then not (which is before
insurance kicks in)... I could wake up with my jaw wired again. I will have to drink my food for up to 8 weeks...again. I will have to take time off of both new jobs. Needless to say, I am not so very thrilled.
And just between you and me I am scared out of my mind. But I am not letting it show...my dad and step mom have enough on their plates and my mum is insane anyways (and has been quite the joy to deal with since I told her). As for the money issue, I am in the process of trying to find an individual insurance plan that will be ok w/ pre-existing conditions. Know of any? Any ideas or advice? I hate money. Yet on the other hand, I am not alone...I am w/ family, I am not in school yet, and both jobs have been understanding. I am trying to
remain bright and shiny, I promise...but the idea of what could go wrong, or that it is not a rogue piece of bone are unsettling. The doctor is chief of oral-maxillary surgery at a good hospital as well as a professor of oral-maxillary surgery at Stony Brook University, so at least he is qualified. And at this point, I just have to trust that everything will be ok. I want to be a surgeon and I believe in God, so I have no other choice then to assume the best, right?
In other news...there really isn't any more. I am beginning to make friends, and will even admit to having official acquaintances! I look forward to developing these relationships further. I am still learning to coexist with multiple people and waiting for the day that I might feel at home. Currently, I am not comfortable in my own home...not completely. I still feel like a visitor at my dad's. Like, when you leave work and want to go home and relax...though I can relax, I still feel like I have to be "on" all the time. There just isn't the same down time and freedom as living alone brings. I have obtained some new bedding
etc. in a further attempt to make my shoebox my own, but that won't change the presence of multiple humans. Maybe I am being nuts yet again. Additionally, there is no news on FINR or the lawsuit, but I am in the
process of filing. And that is about it. Which really is a lot...sorry this got so long. I guess I need to increase the frequency of writing which would decrease the length. But thanks for noticing my absence!
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| Take Two!! |
[06 Apr 2007|01:21pm] |
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Regardless of what I do...no matter how many times I make change of address requests, EVERYTHING insists upon being sent to my mother in FL. That being said, she just called to let me know:
That I HAVE been ACCEPTED into Stony Brook University!!!
I am officially a biology major...and this whole going for my dream is seriously happening. I am slightly perturbed that my mother opened and read mail that was addressed to me...but it is totally dwarfed by excitement. It really is a Good Friday!!!
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[20 Mar 2007|09:38am] |
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I got this link from irishrose26, and it is absolutely hillarious! It is random enough to rank up there with magical trevor (for those of you who know of him...). Enjoy the randomness of it all, come with me to Candy Mountaaaiiinnnn!!!:
http://www.filmcow.com/charlietheunicorn.html
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